I found out I was going to be an uncle recently, and I had to feign excitement in front of my family. I also lift weights daily, eat healthy, and run several times a week. Why Do People Risk Their Own Health for Their Pets? It's been a decade since my last nightmare. Best of luck. But sometimes, as a Deep Feeler, you might get overwhelmed. It feels like instead of experiencing life's ups and downs like most people, the peaks and troughs are diminished, like a sine wave with a much smaller amplitude. I've occasionally hooked up with girls and have no issues performing, but the entire process of getting that far seems like such a monumental task. Why is shame a prominent component in depressive syndromes? I think it's an offshoot of depression. Routine kills everything. Most Deep Feelers use emotions as a compass. The perceived benefits of excuses may be far less than accepting the shame of our transgressions. There's maturity, where people start to cut out superfluous emotional bullshit from their lives (less drama), and then there's what I have, where it seems the actual quality of the emotions are affected to a ridiculous extent. Everyone creates storylines: interpretations (often unconscious) for what triggered you. I think it's just a phase, and it'll go away eventually. Since about the time I got out of high school (26 now), I've found my emotional capacity dwindling little by little. This is great, because it means that you're facing the truth and that you're opening the doors for a lot of great feelings in the future. Almost everything is only interesting for a few instances, and then becomes boring and monotonous. You're probably onto something with this also. Now I LOVE good movies, I write and play piano a lot and really feel the emotional connection with both (especially piano), I don't have a girlfriend right now but believe me I'm dying for that sort of emotional relationship again. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Unfortunately they all came back in a rush somewhere in my 30s. The blending of fear with other emotions produces the variety of ways in which anxiety is felt. i am like this too. You're lucky. Whether an employee completes a task early on or at the deadline is less important than evaluating outcome. Psychotherapist Joy Malek, M.S., shared the above examples. “When storylines and painful thoughts slip in and begin to rev up your feelings, pull yourself back to this moment, here.” Refocus on what you see and hear. It is because you are different. I am a very possessive pet owner. Deep Feelers are empathic, intuitive and attuned, she said. When deadlines are not absolute or clearly defined, procrastinators do successfully meet them. “However, feeling deeply can also be a source of overwhelm. What can I take away from this experience that will make me wiser or increase my compassion? They Don’t Beg For Attention. In addition to writing about mental disorders, she blogs regularly about body and self-image issues on her Psych Central blog, Weightless. Explore the storyline behind your emotion. [EDIT] - Added something I posted as a response. “Because Deep Feelers need time to process big emotions, their emotional ‘pipes’ can get backed up. But, the energy that you put in will come back to you. My friend was upset because I came off unappreciative, but the reality was that I felt so incredibly indifferent about the whole experience. You might be going about your day, and suddenly, an interaction sparks a strong feeling. i dont think there is anything wrong with us, we are just naturally less emotional. Welcome to suburban life, where most people are emotionally dead at 16. Deep Feelers’ storylines are frequently filled with “rapture, despair, and everything in between.”. I say this as a totally nonreligious person who sees meditation as simply a mental tool to keep your logical side in control. Take a depression quiz online. Why does something so common feel so overwhelming? I was physically very healthy, but I was shutting a lot of things out. Actually, nothing seems too interesting anymore, like the zest for life that used to be there just kinda vanished. Also, I do exercise alot. Physical activity can be a great way to enhance the connection between the mind and body and to increase your energy and vitality. Because you have a very rich inner life, your thoughts or memories serve as triggers, too. Just don't program all day and go home and play wow. If so, did they help? advice, diagnosis or treatment. I think there's emotion there sometimes, but not strong ones really. By Dr Lissa Johnson Updated October 7, 2017 — 8.01am first published October 4, 2017 — 3.54pm Temperament may play a role. Shame is prominent in states of anxiety and often hides in the shadow of the emotional experience. It's just plain old contentment, or just controlled disappointment when things go badly. For instance, your storyline might be: “I’m not important to others,” “Everything is out of my control,” “No matter how hard I try, I always fail,” “People leave; no one will stay,” or “I’m not good enough.”. is an Associate Editor and regular contributor at Psych Central. Those who feel the … And this can create strong inner responses to life events.” On the Myers-Briggs personality test, they’re called “Feelers” (versus “Thinkers”), she said. Maybe unrelated, but my sex drive is disappearing too. This can be a good thing. My problem is that it seems like that natural process has gone way too far. I have this. I haven't approached a doctor yet, but I will soon because depression does run in my family. This is why I love Reddit. I can't tell whether or not my emotions are diminished from lack of mental "exercise", or whether I'm not exercising my emotions because they're atrophied. Strain Trauma: When Prolonged Stress Is Just Too Much, Easing Social Distance Isolation, Virtually, What Motivates Resilience, Even on Minor Things, Breakups and Other Painful Life Events: Why We Feel So Bad, The Perplexing Notion of Depression as “Anger Turned Inward”, Procrastination Deadline Mania Is Not "Irrational", Yikes, I’m Behaving Like My Mother (or Father), Clashing: Procrastinators Living With Non-Procrastinators, Decision-making and Different Ways of Knowing, On Being "Triggered": How Emotional Memories Affect Us, The Secret Life of Procrastinators and the Stigma of Delay, Getting Things Done, Procrastinating or Not. They alert “them when something is wrong or [reassure them] that all is well.” For instance, if Deep Feelers are experiencing painful feelings, they interpret things as very, very wrong, Malek said. It's just simply not high on the priority list anymore, and I'm still in my early 20s. The shame of defeat can challenge our potential to look with interest at what has happened and to learn from it. Experiencing the toxicity of jealousy provides a rare opportunity to learn. I have an incredibly difficult time showing or feeling any strong emotions and it's concerning. Because of your anguish, you lose perspective and become consumed by fear and despair. Things have evened out since then. It feels like I can't live life. “[M]ost Deep Feelers are wired to experience the world first and foremost through their emotions. If I miss my pet I'll know that I can have emotions for my pet, and by extension, for people like my family, so that, if, for instance, one of my parents died, I would feel something. I think the overuse of the "logical" part of the brain makes us less sensitive to emotions. You might need time to identify what you’re feeling. Have you ever tried SSRIs? I can sometimes get a glimmer of emotion at the climax of a movie, but I pretty much have no emotion. What will I say about it looking back 10, 20, 30 years from now? I also have the exact same issues with sex drive. I changed at the same time as (or maybe because of) my first girlfriend. Both children and adults can benefit from learning what motivates them. Knowing your exact emotion helps you “bring clarity to the conversation.”. When you’re experiencing a painful emotion, Malek suggested asking yourself: “What’s the storyline here?” At first you might identify all sorts of stories. Procrastinatiors hold information in working memory, reflect upon it, and are driven to get things done by emotions activated within limited available time. However, this is not entirely the case. I think the overuse of the "logical" part of the brain makes us less sensitive to emotions. I'd love to find some way to fix it because I'm tired of feeling so dead. Learn more. Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Needing attention is directly linked to emotion. I wasn't depressed, I was just..... meh. Intense emotions and strong feelings are a part of everyone's life. Identifying it also reminds you that your “interpretation is not the objective truth.” Understanding the root of your storyline minimizes its power, as well, Malek said. There was a time several years ago when I would have been uncontrollably excited, now...nothing. The trademark of an empath is feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and, or, physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities.